Hmmm not this week anyway.
It started like this - the weekend was pretty uncomfortable with increasing back pain and breathlessness limiting my movements. I was hanging out for a visit from my support nurse first thing Monday morning, and sure enough she set things into motion and organised for me to be admitted into Portland hospital where I was promptly diagnosed with pleural effusion on my right lung which appeared filled with fluid. This was dealt with by a minor procedure to drain out the fluid, and to my shock they drained out 3.8 litres! No wonder I was breathless - even talking was tiring! The draining took a few hours, and I immediately began feeling less breathless, though it took my poor right lung a day or two to recover and get used to having some space around it again. The back pain has also eased. When I got home yesterday I discovered I had lost 2.5 kg in weight in one foul swoop!
Throughout all this, there have been numerous phone calls to and from St Vincent's hospital where they took this quite seriously as they had just booked me in for hip surgery next week - on 8 December, but anyway yesterday I had confirmation from St V's that all would proceed next week!
So I was released from Portland hospital feeling good - fluid drained, back pain eased and a date set for surgery to enable me to walk again. Brian and I immediately began making plans for this, because the period after surgery will be a long recuperative process as I basically haven't walked for 2 years. Pressure pressure to complete the Christmas shopping!
Now remember that bit about wondering when life will be boring and predictable?
Today I had my routine appointment with my oncologist - and... the plans have changed. Basically the build-up of fluid on my lungs is indicative of the cancer becoming more active, although there is no way yet of knowing if this is happening slowly or if it will move with a bit more vengeance. Therefore to my disappointment, the surgery has now been cancelled for the time being!!!! The oncologist didn't rule it out as a possibility perhaps in Jan/Feb, as by then we will know more about the progression of this dratted disease.
So yes, I am disappointed.
Yes, I'm disappointed that there is less likelihood of walking.
No, I'm not sorry to miss the grueling rehab that was always going to follow the surgery.
Yes, I am glad I have more time to anticipate Christmas - its importance and also the wonderful traditions, music and services to prepare for.
But just now I'm going to sit at the front window and enjoy the colourful vista of bright red roses and yellow proteas - the product of a creative God and a wet winter.
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